Perfectionism: How to Move from “Perfect” to Present

Orchard Valley Counselling Services — West Kelowna, BC

Perfectionism can feel like a superpower — until it exhausts you. If you live in West Kelowna and find yourself stuck in cycles of overwork, fear of mistakes, people-pleasing, or paralysis by analysis, you’re not alone — and you don’t have to carry it alone. Orchard Valley Counselling Services in West Kelowna offers in-person and online support to help people who struggle with perfectionism reclaim balance and self-compassion. Orchard Valley Counselling Services+1

What perfectionism really is (and isn’t)

Perfectionism isn’t simply “trying to do your best.” It’s a set of beliefs and habits that make self-worth depend on flawless performance. Common features include:

  • Constant fear of criticism or failure
  • Procrastination driven by fear of not meeting impossible standards
  • Over-checking, over-editing, or inability to delegate
  • Harsh self-criticism and shame after minor mistakes

When perfectionism is chronic, it increases anxiety, depression, relationship strain, and burnout. If your striving comes at the cost of rest, joy, or connection, that’s a strong sign to seek support.

Why counselling helps

Therapy helps by shifting the story underneath perfectionism. Counselling gives you tools to:

  • Recognize and interrupt unhelpful thought patterns (CBT skills)
  • Build self-compassion and realistic standards (compassion-focused work)
  • Practice acceptance and values-driven living (ACT strategies)
  • Process underlying trauma or shame that fuels perfectionistic beliefs (trauma-informed care)

Orchard Valley Counselling offers trauma-informed, personalized individual and couples therapy and a free 20-minute consult to help you decide the best next step. Orchard Valley Counselling Servicesorchardvalleycounselling.janeapp.com

What therapy for perfectionism often looks like

  1. Assessment & goals: You and your counsellor clarify what perfectionism looks like in your life and set compassionate, achievable goals.
  2. Skill building: Cognitive reframing, behavioral experiments (doing imperfect tasks and observing outcomes), and stress-management techniques.
  3. Practice: Small, supported exposures to “not perfect” experiences to reduce avoidance.
  4. Repair & values work: Reconnecting with what matters beyond performance — relationships, creativity, leisure.
  5. Maintenance: Relapse prevention and tools to manage future triggers.

Some clinicians may integrate EMDR when perfectionism is linked to past trauma or intense shame-based memories; Orchard Valley lists EMDR among the modalities available through clinicians in their practice. Psychology Today

Signs it’s time to book a session

Consider counselling if perfectionism is causing:

  • Chronic anxiety, insomnia, or panic attacks
  • Missed opportunities due to fear of failure
  • Relationship conflict because of control or avoidance
  • Work or school impairment despite long hours

Local details & how to book (West Kelowna)

Orchard Valley Counselling has a West Kelowna clinic at 301 – 2205 Louie Drive, West Kelowna, BC V4T 3C3 (and a Kelowna location as well). Phone: 236-361-0043. Email: admin@ovcs.ca. Their offices serve clients in-person and online and offer flexible hours. Book Now

You can view services and book a free 20-minute consult or an appointment through their online booking pages. Booknow

Quick self-help steps you can try today

  • Do a 10-minute “good enough” challenge: Pick a small task and set a short time limit. Intentionally stop when time’s up. Notice what happens.
  • Label the voice: When self-critical thoughts arise, name them (“That’s the Perfectionist Voice”) and respond with evidence or a kinder sentence.
  • Schedule breaks: Add non-negotiable rest into your calendar like any important meeting.
  • Ritualize small failures: Deliberately make a tiny, safe mistake and note that the world didn’t end — this retrains tolerance for imperfection.

FAQ (local)

Do you accept online sessions?
Yes — Orchard Valley lists both in-person and online options for clients. Psychology Today

How long until I notice change?
Many people notice relief within a few sessions when they practice skills between sessions. For deeper patterns, expect a gradual, sustainable shift over months.

Is perfectionism considered a diagnosable disorder?
Perfectionism itself is a personality style that often co-occurs with anxiety, OCD, or depression — a counsellor can help determine whether a clinical diagnosis applies and tailor treatment.

Call to action

If perfectionism is costing you peace, reach out for a free consult and explore a kinder, more present way of living. Book a 20-minute consult or an appointment through Orchard Valley’s booking page or call 236-361-0043.