Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse

Reclaiming Your Sense of Self

Healing from narcissistic abuse is not just about moving on it’s about rebuilding who you are after years of being made to question your worth, your memories, and even your reality.

If you’ve loved, worked with, or grown up around someone with narcissistic traits, you know how confusing and draining it can be. You may feel lost, anxious, or disconnected from who you used to be.

At Orchard Valley Counselling in Kelowna, we help individuals rebuild self-trust, confidence, and emotional safety after narcissistic relationships. Healing is possible even if it doesn’t feel like it right now.

What Is Narcissistic Abuse?

Narcissistic abuse is a pattern of manipulation, control, and emotional harm caused by someone with narcissistic tendencies or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD). It often includes:

  • Gaslighting: Making you doubt your feelings, memories, or sanity
  • Love-bombing: Over-the-top affection early on, followed by withdrawal or criticism
  • Devaluation: Criticism, silent treatment, or humiliation to maintain control
  • Blame-shifting: Turning every issue back on you
  • Triangulation: Pitting people against each other to create jealousy or confusion
  • Emotional exhaustion: Feeling like nothing you do is ever enough

Over time, this kind of treatment erodes your sense of identity and safety. You may start to internalize the belief that you’re the problem when in fact, you’ve been systematically disempowered.

The Lasting Impact of Narcissistic Abuse

Even after leaving the relationship, many survivors experience:

  • Chronic self-doubt and confusion
  • Anxiety, depression, or emotional numbness
  • Hypervigilance (constantly feeling on edge)
  • Guilt for setting boundaries or saying no
  • Difficulty trusting others or themselves
  • A sense of emptiness or loss of identity

These are not signs of weakness. They are the natural responses of someone who has lived in survival mode for too long.

Healing from Narcissistic Abuse

Recovery is not about “getting over it.” It’s about reclaiming yourself your voice, your peace, and your sense of power.

1. Rebuild Your Sense of Reality

Gaslighting can make you question what’s true. Therapy helps you reconnect with your own perspective, emotions, and intuition the parts that were dismissed or denied for so long.

2. Learn to Set Boundaries

If you were punished for having needs, boundaries can feel scary at first. Counselling helps you practice setting them safely, learning that protecting your peace is not selfish it’s essential.

3. Reconnect with Your Body and Emotions

Narcissistic abuse often forces people to disconnect from their bodies as a way to survive. Grounding, mindfulness, and somatic-based counselling can help you feel safe in your body again.

4. Address Trauma Responses

Flashbacks, fear, people-pleasing, or avoidance are normal trauma responses. A trauma-informed counsellor can help you regulate your nervous system and reduce emotional overwhelm.

5. Rebuild Self-Worth and Identity

Abuse distorts how you see yourself. Therapy helps you separate the lies you were told from the truth of who you really are strong, capable, and deserving of love.

How Counselling Can Help

At Orchard Valley Counselling in Kelowna, we provide a safe, validating space to process what you have been through. Our therapists use trauma-informed, attachment-based, and somatic approaches to help you heal emotionally and physically from the impact of narcissistic relationships.

You can:

  • Regain clarity and confidence
  • Learn to recognize red flags and break unhealthy patterns
  • Strengthen your boundaries and communication
  • Reconnect with joy, peace, and purpose

You Deserve to Feel Safe Again

Recovering from narcissistic abuse is not about forgetting the past it’s about learning to trust yourself again and rebuilding a life that feels authentic and free.

You are not broken. You are healing.

📍 In-person counselling in Kelowna & West Kelowna | 💻 Online therapy across BC
Reach out today to begin your healing journey with one of our compassionate counsellors.