Feeling Off During the Holidays You Are Not Alone

The holidays are often framed as a time of joy, gratitude, and togetherness. But for many people, this season brings something very different. You might feel emotionally flat, irritable, anxious, lonely, or disconnected from yourself and others. You may even wonder why you feel this way when you are “supposed” to be happy.

If you feel off during the holidays, there is nothing wrong with you. In fact, it is incredibly common.

Why the Holidays Can Feel Emotionally Heavy

Even positive events can be emotionally demanding. The holiday season combines several stressors at once, which can easily overwhelm the nervous system.

Common contributors include
• increased social expectations
• family dynamics and unresolved tension
• grief or reminders of loss
• financial pressure
• disrupted routines
• less daylight and colder weather
• internal pressure to feel grateful or joyful

When all of these stack together, your body and mind may respond with fatigue, anxiety, emotional numbing, or withdrawal.

When You Feel Disconnected or Not Like Yourself

Many people describe the holidays as a time when they feel distant from their emotions or unsure of who they are. This can look like
• going through the motions without enjoyment
• feeling irritable or overstimulated
• wanting to be alone more than usual
• feeling guilty for not feeling festive
• questioning relationships or long-held patterns

This response is often a sign that your system is overloaded rather than a sign that something is wrong.

Gentle Ways to Support Yourself During the Holidays

Lower the emotional bar

You do not need to feel cheerful, grateful, or excited all the time. Allowing yourself to feel neutral can be more regulating than forcing positivity.

Create small moments of grounding

Even short pauses help. A walk outside, a quiet cup of tea, slow breathing, or listening to calming music can signal safety to your nervous system.

Choose intention over obligation

You are allowed to decide what truly matters to you this season. Attending fewer events or shortening visits can protect your emotional energy.

Notice what drains versus restores you

Pay attention to what leaves you feeling depleted and what helps you feel steadier. Let that guide your choices where possible.

Talk to someone safe

You do not need to explain everything perfectly. Simply naming how you feel to a trusted person or counsellor can reduce the sense of isolation.

When Counselling Can Help During the Holidays

If the holidays consistently leave you feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or emotionally heavy, counselling can provide support and clarity. Therapy is not about fixing the holidays. It is about helping you understand your emotional responses and learn how to care for yourself more effectively.

Counselling can help you
• process family dynamics and old patterns
• manage anxiety or emotional overload
• navigate grief or loss
• set healthier boundaries
• feel more grounded in your own needs
• move through the season with less pressure

Many people find that starting counselling during the holidays helps them enter the new year feeling more settled and supported.

Support During the Holiday Season in Kelowna

At Orchard Valley Counselling, we understand how complex the holiday season can be. Our counsellors offer a warm, nonjudgmental space where you can talk openly about what you are experiencing, whether it feels big, confusing, or hard to explain.

We offer in person counselling in Kelowna and West Kelowna, as well as online sessions across British Columbia.

If you are feeling off this holiday season, you do not have to handle it alone.

Reach out today to book your consultation and give yourself the support you deserve.