By Christine Ferch
Positive Self-Talk
Do you notice that your happy inner voice seems to be replaced by negative self-talk?
We all experience thoughts which seem to take over our mind, ask yourself are these helpful thoughts or unhelpful thoughts. The majority of our thoughts are negative in nature. They are self-statements which put us down, lower our self-esteem and diminish the confidence we must carry out our daily tasks and achieve our goals.
This is a standard topic in sessions, many people have an inner critic who is relentless with negativity to the degree it becomes debilitating. This self-talk or inner critic is often negative. However, there is hope!
Positive self-talk can occur with practice and utilizing a few different tools. Using self -talk is mostly being your own cheerleader, being mindful of your capabilities, acknowledging them and being confident in carrying them out.
The more we practice positive self-talk, it becomes our habitual thought process, we no longer hear the inner critic. Alternatively, if it does appear, we can challenge that voice with a realistic thought and challenge it with ease because we know the positive statement to be true.
Why is self-talk critical?
How we speak to ourselves impacts our self-esteem, confidence, self-worth and ability to carry out goals and feel accomplished. When we can engage in positive self-talk, we can see what we are capable of, which provides us with feelings of control, building our autonomy and independence. Our self-esteem lifts, self-love increases, when faced with difficult situations, our thoughts shift to how we can solve the problem or ask for help if we need it.
Positive self-talk can also reduce stress, assist with sleep, depression and anxiety! It can be a mindfulness exercise when we are about to be in a stressful situation such as work or athletic event.
Here are some quick and useful ways to increase positive self-talk:
- Notice your patterns: your negative self-talk may only come out at certain times, when they occur, write them down and go back to them later. See what you are conflicted with most of the time and begin to rewrite those phrases in positive ways
- When your negative self-talk begins to appear, tell your self “STOP”. Acknowledge the negative self-talk and again, rephrase it into something more positive
- Try reducing words into their milder form. Instead of pain, try discomfort. In the world we are in right now, try “isolation” over “quarantine”. Using warmer words reduces the impact it has on us mentally and makes the situation easier to process.
- Change the statement to a question. Instead of “I cannot do this” which can increase stress and anxiety, reduce our confidence and self-esteem, it can be helpful to “What can I change, so I can do this”. This creates a more positive outlook, brings you back into some control and creates a situation with a high probability of success
- Check with your emotions regularly when faced with specific challenges, knowing how we feel can direct our thoughts so we can engage in productive and helpful behaviours which increase success and confidence
I hope these suggestions have been helpful! In addition to this blog, there is another directly on our inner critic. Happy reading!!
If you have any questions, you can email us at admin@ovcs.ca
