3 Different Types of Anger
By Christine Ferch
There are many different types of anger but we will just be focusing on 3 of them here. There are 3 different types of anger that are commonly noticed in human-beings most of us at some time or another may struggle with. To begin though we may want to know, “What is anger?”and “Why do some people think it’s bad or negative?
Definition of Anger
According to the Oxford Dictionary, refers to Anger as “…having a strong feeling of or showing annoyance, displeasure, or hostility; full of anger.”For example: “why are you angry with me?” Another definition by the Cambridge Dictionary refers to Anger as follows: “…having a strong feeling against someone who has behaved badly, making you want to shout at them or hurt them.” Like in: “He’s really angry at/with me for upsetting Sophie. I don’t understand what he’s angry about.” Anger is also considered a normal and healthy emotion that we all have so
Anger is Normal & Healthy
Interestingly enough, anger is a common and healthy emotion that is not good nor bad. It often anger has a negative connotation though for the most part. Like many emotions though, it helps send a message, letting you know that the specific circumstance your in may be causing you distress, be upsetting, unfair or even anxiety provoking. Sometimes individuals who become angry, and impulsively react, may not be able to convey their message because they are in an illogical state of mind. Even though this emotion is normal, it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s handled properly, especially when you’re being mistreated or feel wronged in some way. It’s easy for things to get out of hand and your anger to become a problem when you express it in a negative way that may cause harm to yourself or others.
Coping with Anger
It’s healthy to cope with your anger and manage it in a positive way but not everyone responds in this way. Either because they don’t know how to manage their anger properly or some believe that venting their anger is healthy. They may blame others too for their anger, believing that it’s everyone else’s problem. That they are too sensitive, or too emotional. Individuals may say this to justify their strong emotional response. But the truth is that venting your anger is not an effective way to manage your emotional distress. It may seem easier in the moment but we can’t ignore the negative impact on the way others see you, how it effects your judgement in those situations and can clearly get in the way of positive outcomes.
Anger May Be Validating
If there is any validating part about anger, is we all experience anger and we all get angry in various situations or experiences. Anger is related to our fight, flight or freeze response as it is used as a survival technique. When we become angry, we are more likely to fight as it is part of our autonomic nervous system, and it is 2 branches. When we express anger, there are stress hormones such as cortisol released at the same time. Cortisol released regularly begins to destroy neurons (send messages between the brain and rest of the body through the spinal cord dictating what thoughts and behaviours we engage in). This destruction of neurons impairs our judgement and short-term memory and weakens the immune system.
More importantly, anger is a secondary emotion, meaning there is a primary, underlining emotion is masked by anger. Majority of the time, individuals underlining emotion (s) are sadness, such as the experience of a loss, (Anger is noted in the stages of grief), disappointment, and discouragement. Fear can include anxiety and worry.
3 Different Types of Anger
There are 3 different types of anger we engage in under individual experiences or situations.
- Passive Aggression: Who likes confrontation? This style of Anger us used when people do not want to admit they are angry as to avoid confrontation. The individual becomes silent, sulks, and procrastinates while pretending everything is fine.
- Open Aggression: On the other side of the spectrum and as the name suggests, are those who are open and lash out in Anger. This may be physical or verbal aggression which may lead to harm to self or others. Open Anger looks like fighting, bullying, blackmailing, accusing, shouting, bickering, sarcasm, and criticism. This Anger stems from a high need to be in control.
- Assertive Anger: Is the healthy way to respond to and handle Anger in a controlled and confident manner. We use our words and we listen to help solve the problem and be open in handling the situation. This form of Anger can help relationships grow, whereas open aggression leads to toxic and unhealthy relationships. Assertive Anger is being in a space where you can process what is occurring, find your words, be expressive and flexible to what you are angry about. In a relationship, this is being patient with your partner, not raising your voice, communicating what you are feeling emotionally and being empathetic.
Can we Control our Anger?
As we’ve learned different types of anger that will help as identify and manage our anger there are also other ways we can learn to cope with our anger.
Yes, we can learn to control our anger, and for some, it does not necessarily need therapeutic intervention. There are several strategies one can use to harness and be in control of their Anger, so the other two more negative styles of anger are not expressed often. An essential component to Anger essential to remember is when we reinforce or are reinforced for our Anger, and it becomes deeper within us.
- Engage in self-awareness. You are identifying what is happening in your body before, during and after you feel Anger. Mindfulness techniques help heighten one’s self-awareness. For further information on Mindfulness, check out my blog on this topic as well!
- Seek support from a counsellor to identify and work through the underlining emotions causing the Anger and build more coping strategies to harness those emotions and your Anger.
For more information, support or have further questions, and please contact admin@ovcs.ca. Did you enjoy this article? Check out some of our other blog posts here or read Christine’s article on 3 Different Types of Anger.
Don’t forget to Like, Share and Follow Us on our social media links too.
